Quite a high level of distrust

I am encountering what I believe I haven´t come across in a long time, possibly not ever as a film maker, a genuine distrust in what I am doing. Let me just say, I fully understand it! I would be exactly the same, possibly, if I´d live here in Moss Side AND England, because I feel it is not only here. And there is a reason. We, my family, have come across this item that people tell you one thing (Talk-Talk for example) and you agree and you get lied to and given something completely different. It is quite common it seems, especially when media is involved. The Moss Siders, and others in the same situation, and there´s quite a few here in England, have been told that the TV-crew/film makers will do this, but in reality it is all totally different and always negative. This is causing serious problems for me, who wants to do something positive. It takes a lot of time to gain people´s trust. But as it is, I can´t film in my favorite pub and other places, and people, who could give a positive, realistic image of Moss Side. Who I see as a unique place on earth in a very positive light. But this English media hysteria, which I come across all the time as an explorer when I am getting offers to be fooled out of my ideas for others to use, by some media company calling and lying initially why they contact me. Yesterday somebody called from a media company in London and said they loved my films and Expeditions and wondered if I had any ideas I could share. So I asked, which particular film do you like? They had no idea. 

So I understand this mistrust of outside media and people. And no, I haven´t come across it elsewhere. It is of cause the competitive nature and crappy tabloid press which shines through. It is also well known within exploration, that some English "explorers" do not fully tell the truth and overdo their own importance. To suit their commercial needs. Something I saw today when I got a contract from a UK possible sponsor, they´re terrified that I would write something bad about their product. Amazing! I have never come across that before either!

Having said that, there´s hell of a lot I like about the English! But, there´s no doubt about it, being a great ally to the US and a global power, seems to create a society built on extreme security, worries and distrust. Or at least that is my feeling now, before I start walking.

I did meet two great fellas today, A and H. The best of the best. Which is such a common sight in Moss Side, once they open up! And I visited the Windermere center and enjoyed it fully. It helped me loads. Thanks A!

"You look like a bum!"

"You look like a bum!" my wife said this morning: "You have to dress up now when it is time to interview people. It is a question of respect. You Swedes think you can always be casual, but this is not the case in Britain. Look how everyone is dressing up here for the smallest of things."

She is right. Even though I feel like a bum! After basically sleeping in m clothes throughout this terribly cold winter...yes, all my clothes look really, really over worn out. My shoes, well, the soles have major patches missing a to make up a full sole...all my top hats are done, well, almost everything I have with me here in Britain has had it. But it helps in Moss Side I think! When it is this cold and down right uncomfortable inside, one stops caring about issues like how you look. Not that this has ever been a priority for me, except those years between my divorce and meeting Pam.

Even though I haven´t written for a month, things are developing and we are almost there with needed backing and funds. It is time to invest in new gear, like a Go Pro 3 which was such a success on The Frozen Frontier Expedition. A couple of hard drives, SD-cards, a lamp and, of course, new clothes and such! But the idea is to to do a very light weight Expedition, hoping to get invited to people every night!

I have met a lot of people during the last month and set up a lot of very, very interesting contacts. And I read this interesting article yesterday, Poor Families Hit By Welfare Reform and it sums up most people I meet here in Moss Side. They live in average, a family, on 40 pounds a week, we slogged keeping it on 70, but a family in average use 150 pounds a month on gas and electricity, where we use 60-70, but they don´t get any more warmth then we do, average 4-5 hours a day, because most of their fuel bill is the TV. This is really a rip off system not worthy of a modern society. I have to say, I agree with saying that this government is a disaster for people living here. this bed room tax is the dumbest of all.

The Gym training is going well. But being everything yourself, researcher, film maker and so on, and looking after two girls and being a good husband, almost impossible. I need help. I hope to get going next week, full time, but doubt it. I still have no real idea about the itinerary.

More obstacles compared to Yemen

I met some amazing hostility today for the first time in Mosside. I went to visit Manchester Refugee Support Network on Princess Road and since arriving to Mosside, considered by many very dangerous and unpleasant, I met my first piece of genuine unfriendliness. Naturally in the shape of a white middle aged bureaucrat who was showing an arrogance, impatience and complete lack of empathy, which I have come across before, they all look the same these men, and I wonder, who hires these people? And if he treats me like this, who comes in with two kids, and wants to ask if they can help me find a local family or two who have just moved in, so i can get their perspective. I didn´t even get a chance to explain why or who I was. They hardly opened the door for me. I am stunned to almost silence!

In Sweden we have a name for these people, "sursvenskar". Sour Swedes. I have no idea at all why he treated me like this. Did I look scruffy? Is it because I said I was a documentary film maker? Are they scared of getting investigated? Was it because he couldn´t place me in the normal British class system shelf, due to my foreign accent? Or, did he feel I had nothing to do there because he was doing such dignified work? I have no idea. What to do know, is that it will be much, much more difficult to do a documentary in England than Yemen, due to these white westerners and Brits. They´re so....worried, don´t want to be bothered, keeps to themselves and they´re just...like they belong to another planet at times. There´s many exceptions of course, but there´s no doubt, that the immigrants are a ton friendlier and nicer to socialize with.

That is one reason I am looking and trying to find a partner, definitely a woman, hopefully from here, absolutely with either a Middle Eastern or African (Caribbean) background. I have put this up on documentary sites on Facebook and elsewhere:

I am looking for, preferably a Swedish speaking lady with Middle Eastern or African background (Somali is extra good) who can handle a camera and help me "discover" contemporary England. A 3 month project similar to my lastwww.expeditionyemen126degreesintheshade.com including walking, meeting loads of people and living in Mosside -one of the most densely populated places in Europe and one of the most underprivileged, but full of great people!- for a month, which is the base and the start.

But, having said that, anyone interested, speaking Swedish isn´t all important, English yes-well, it has be a lady to get a proper perspective, and the doc well be much better for sure- do drop me a line though the Yemen webpage mentioned above. 

Animal handling, great ability to adapt, time in the UK and outgoingness a plus. 

This is a job offer.

I have also sent out around 10 emails to ask everything from Eva´s school to the local council for help, only Al Cox has answered and shows any interest. The rest, complete silence. I have never come across that before either. No interest to help at all.

By the way, this unpleasant character at Manchester Refugee Center, he advised to put up a flyer. And in that way attract newly arrived, mainly non-English speaking immigrants. I am speechless in the face of stupidity. How do these guys get these important jobs?????

                                      This is just outside where we live. Rain is a major part of life...

Production; The first day of filming

Well, as usual when I start filming again after a layoff, this time, well, I guess, it is one and a half year since I last held my XA 10 (Yemen), I do too many mistakes and it just doesn´t look good. The most important scene was the one above, about my daughter saying she wants to stay at her old school and of course I have forgotten to do the sound level right and as always, I forgot about the wind. And I am always a bit off on the image, but things happen fast!

Once back home after the first filming, I had forgotten how to initialize the SD cards, I still had a whole lot of great tribal scenes from Yemen on my camera memory and the manual I downloaded on the Internet to figure things out, it took an hour since we live in the under privileged world of Mosside, it was for NTSC....

I am exhausted right now. Pam´s doing three papers in three weeks, her most important one´s, we have been looking for a new school for Eva and I have, finally decided to get the project to do a documentary about contemporary England going. I will concentrate on Mosside until Pam´s ended her studies and hopefully I can do a walk to Buckhurst Hill where it all started at the end of the 1960´s. But, at least I have taken the first fumbling steps forward.

What I need to do now is to quickly do a list of things I need to do here in Mosside. This time emphasis has to be people. And changes.

Work list:

• I need to find a Somali, An African, An Indian-Pakistani, English woman with child or children. Old and young.
• I need to film as much as possible of Mosside itself. Hear stories from the past, emphasis start back in the end of the sixties, which is the start of my thought process.
• Overviews, community center, some good and bad, street life, the intellectually dead zone.
• "Unfortunately" our family time here has to be kind of in the center. Why here, who are we and how do the days pass by.

The question is, with the problems we are having with finding a new school for Eva, and Pam´s studies and me being at home with Dana, how in earth are am I going to get time to do all this?

Do I want to do it? Am I ready? Yes. I think so. I am definitely getting there! It does feel great starting again!